


Ash

by GayTea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, I'll probably also add a reunion chapter, also forgive the title I hate titles I chose the least creative one possible, anyway it's really short give it a try if u want suffering in small doses, bc this hurts me too much, but I really love Peter and tony's father/son relationship, so I needed to write the scene from tony's pov, this scene made me cry for hours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayTea/pseuds/GayTea
Summary: "I don’t feel too good…" Peter trails again before he stumbles, and Tony is glued to the ground, fear gripping him like a vice. This shouldn’t be happening, not to the kid, not to Peter.---Or, Peter's death scene from Tony's point of view.





	Ash

It’s painful. 

 

Getting stabbed didn’t compare to this, could never compare. His heart feels as if it’s surrounded by an immense force of pressure, clamped and squeezing until he can barely breathe and he tries but his lungs feel like weights in his chest and each heaving breath is like sandpaper shredding his throat and maybe he’s dying but he doesn’t want to die like this, after everything he doesn’t want to go out knowing Peter was gone, knowing he’ll never find out whether or not Pepper had made it.

 

He tried to give everything he had, but everything wasn’t enough this time. Everyone had begun to disappear, one by one, before he even had time to react. 

 

_ “It was the only way.” _

 

_ Bullshit. _

 

Dr. Strange’s ashes caught air. Tony wasn’t sure at the time why the man’s voice seemed sorry, but he learned quickly. Because the goddamn wizard had seen this, he knew exactly what was going to happen. 

 

_ “It was the only way.” _

 

He couldn’t understand. Logically, he knows it was right, he knew Dr. Strange had seen countless possibilities, endless futures and timelines. And this was the only way. But he couldn’t get passed the fact that the ‘only way’ included ripping the closest thing Tony had ever had to a son from him.

 

_ “Mr. Stark,” Tony turns sharply towards Peter’s voice, stomach turning at the sight of him looking so shaky. He wants to say something but it’s so hard to get words to form, his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. _

 

_ “I don’t feel too good…” Peter trails again before he stumbles, and Tony is glued to the ground, fear gripping him like a vice. This shouldn’t be happening, not to the kid, not to Peter.  _

 

_ “You’re alright,” Tony says quickly, his voice almost sounding sure. He wants to believe himself so desperately. _

 

_ Peter looks at him then stumbles forward again, shaking slightly. _

 

_ “I-I don’t know what’s happening,” he says, his voice trembling with fear, “I don’t know what’s happening.” _

 

_ He sounds too weak, he just sounds like a kid. A scared kid. _

 

_ When Peter falls heavily against him, he grabs him, holding him tightly as though it would keep him here. He feels Peter’s fingers gripping his back to the point where it might have been painful had the situation been different.  _

 

_ “Tony-Sir please, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go-” Peter’s on the verge of tears, his voice cracking as he clings to Tony like he’s the last thing keeping him tethered to life. _

 

_ Tony holds onto him. He can’t let go. He holds him even though Peter’s losing the strength to keep himself up and Tony drops to his knees with him, Peter’s weight, rapidly going limp, pulling Tony forward so he can see Peter’s face as he’s on his back and he looks up but he’s not looking at anything in particular and Tony  _ knows _ , he knows this is it and it takes everything in him not to break down because he can’t, Peter looks at him like he’s some sort of untouchable god and he can’t scare Peter even more so he swallows thickly and steels himself. _

 

_ Peter looks at him again, his face paler than Tony had ever seen it and says, “I’m sorry,” and then he’s gone. All that’s left is ash as Tony falls forward slightly without Peter there to fill the space. Some of the ash is blown into the wind and Tony squeezes his eyes shut because he can’t bear to see the empty space before him where Peter was only seconds earlier or his hands that are covered in what’s left. He brings his hands together tightly and rocks slowly back and forth, and his heart is being crushed and his lungs are heavy. _

 

Peter is gone. He has to admit to himself that he loves the kid. He felt responsible for him and it’s completely his fault that Peter was ever here in the first place and he can’t get that out of his head. Guilt eats at him like he downed a glass of acid. 

 

Tony has lost a lot. He’s felt this enough times to understand it, but this hurts so much more than he remembers. Peter is a  _ kid _ , he’s a kid that Tony took upon himself to protect, and a kid that had grown on him so much over the past three years that it’s hard to tell himself that Peter isn’t  _ his _ kid.

 

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**Author's Note:**

> I'm very strongly considering making a follow-up chapter (which is why this is chapter 1/?) with peter's return after the Avengers defeat Thanos, but I might not have time with college and everything so we'll see


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